Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Manly Man PVP Guide

There have been much confusion and propaganda on forums by girly-man magic types. I am here to clear this up by giving clear and concise guide to being a MANLY Exorcist.

First I must introduce myself since I am not internet famous person like trisomy or keisha.
I am Puritas, Glad 8 Manly Exo. 

You may be saying "Puritas, you not Hero 8 you Glad 8 stupid noob you cant talk"
The is story behind that. While I grind to Hero 1, friend say to me "There is fun fun arena game where you can push button with face and get gladiator" so I take 1 year break to play WoW BUT NOW AM BACK.

Why be physical exorcist?
Simple: You will be MANLIEST of all MANLY types on DFO. Who not want to be manly?

How can I be cool like you?
Let me show you.


 - Chakra of Passion
Real man get fired up about everything he do. That is why you must be master of PASSION CHAKRA. If you miss this step you already fail being man.

 - Doggie
What am man without dog? Stupid question. This dog so friendly he hump leg of everyone he see, how can you not love dog. Debate about being physical or magic to take it waste of time.

When anyone have big shiny weapon, what is first thing they want to do? RUN AROUND WAVING IT IN AIR LIKE JUST DONT CARE. If you dont do this what kind of example you set for children. 
Straight Punch just like super amazing gale smash but without weapon so also good.

 - Piercing Darkness
Okay okay is magic skill. But picture this.
You am fighting a manly man with ax.
He press x, you think "haha stupid exo missed me by mile"
Then he cancel into gale smash and you go "WHOA that was close ax kept going!"
Then... MIND GAME OF MIND GAMES ax keeps going ACROSS screen with piercing darkness.
They be scared all match after that.

 - Gonad Hammer w/ cancel
You need cancel for this amazing skill. Any point in match you can stop from punch into HAMMER LIKE POGO-STICK PHOENIX ONTO MAN PARTS.
How can you turn down this? Extra bonus shockwave so anyone watching too close gets kaboom.

 - White Womans (Tiger)
When man have dog and big weapon, what is all he need? Car? Beer? No is WOMAN.
But when you have more than one woman they turn into fat ugly man, so you must run away manlily.

 - Crucifix Wind
You know saying "You cant have cake and eat too". When you break crucifix wind you throw weapon in air and while its spinning YOU STILL HAVE WEAPON TO HIT WITH. How amazing is that. You can have axe and beat too!
EX skill add whole new layer of mind game to being manly because you can throw in four direction UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT. What other skill go four direction like that? Imagine confusion on stupid girly mech face when he runs in from the right and you scream out "CRUCIFIX WIND" hurling pride and joy to your left.

 - GWL Chaos Hammer SpinninG Cross
People keep say these skills so good because of oh my god SOOPER ARMOR.
What stupid.
Keep in mind when you are SOOPER ARMORING away (although may look very manly when posing) you are STUCK IN PLACE while they run away and throw discs at you.
What embarassing way to lose if you are man. Better to stay away.

What a waste of skill point. You can miss not once but TWICE with this skill and either miss makes you do NO DAMAGE.
Why you want do no damage.
You can press x 3 times and even if you miss twice you STILL DO DAMAGE.
God so stupid.

I could go on with more explanation of skill but all other are worthless girly magic skill so we pretend it not exist.
Instead I present super important 

Step 1: Set up woman all around room. The more woman the better!
Step 2: Run around room madly use GALE SMASH and LUCKY PUNCH. The more luck the better! Make stupid enemy chase you around while you hit BEHIND YOU WITH AX.
Step 3: When GALE SMASH and LUCKY PUNCH on cool down, what then? Pose with sooper armor? No crucifix wind towards bottom then run and stand in it. Is armor with STYLE.
Step 4: As soon as you can, get doggie out. If you are brawling get EX doggie because he like humping as many legs as he can.

By this point, your opponent will be overcome by doggy exuberance and you can show weapon all you like.

I hope this clear up any confusion about what is superior exorcist and hope too see more manly men in pvp.


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While articles may contain the personal opinions of the writers, they are opinions based on hundreds of hours of gameplay and the general consensus of their respective communities.